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Quotes

By M Davies   /     Feb 12, 2008  /     Quotes  /     0 Comment

“I have a peanut butter and jelly poopy, Mommy” — Gabrielle

 

“But, I don’t waannnnnnnntttttttt to shovelllllllllllllllllll snow.  I want to playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.  WAhHHHHHHhhh” — One of the bratty neighborhood kids as I was outside shoveling.  (Side note:  better get used to it kid, ya live in PA.  It doesn’t matter if you want to do it now, you will have to do it eventually)

 

“Mozeeeela” — Sarah on whether she liked IE or Mozilla  (I don’t know, she pronounced it funny)

 

“I had other people call a day in advance to say they weren’t coming because of the weather, but not Michelle.  I wondered if you were coming or what?”  — One of the guys I interviewed with today.

 

“They offered to put us up in a hotel….but what am I going to do with my dogs.”  — Adina talking about the prospect of driving home from Moosic, or stay in a hotel.

 

“Oh, it looks like the Hanover Township Road Crew/Garbage Men/Volunteer Firefighters/Police Officers are actually out plowing the roads” — Me

 

*    *     *     *     *

 

The last quote reminds me of the first year we moved into this house.  During our first Xmas here there was a really bad snow storm.  I think it was the first year anyway…it might have been the second year.  Anyway, Rich and I have this tradition where we go up to his parents for a lunch holiday meal and then we go to my grandmothers for holiday dinner.  It was snowing really hard and we decided to stop at the corner deli to get some beer to take up to his parents with us.  I don’t know why they were open on Xmas, but anyway that is beside the point.  We then got back on Division Street going up the hill.  We were in Rich’s little put-put Toyota, and we got stuck behind one of the “Hanover Township Road Department’s Plow Trucks”.  By “Hanover Township Road Department Plow Truck” I mean, a 4×4 rear wheel drive Dodge Ram 1 ton.  Yeah.  It BARELY made it up the hill.  It was humorous to say the least.

 

Hey, American Idol and Big Brother are on tonight.  I am in HEAVEN!

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And now, a word on tax rebates

By M Davies   /     Feb 08, 2008  /     Quotes  /     0 Comment

Someone posted this on fark.com on a Tax Rebate thread and I just about spit my drink out of my mouth.  Too funny.  So now, I must share it with you (note:  I did not write this, but *golf clap* to the genius that did)  FAQs about the upcoming tax rebates….

Cliff notes version for the ADD crowd:

Q: How much will I get?
A: $600 for singles or couples filing separately in 2007. Tack on $300/ea for crotchfruit. No, they’re STILL not worth it. If you and your whore wife file together you’ll get $1200, but good luck spending that money without a divorce-inducing argument.

Q: What if I make over $75k?
A: You can still get a rebate. Take the amount you make over 75k and multiply it by .05.. Subtract this from $600. If the result is negative you don’t get a check. Basically if you make between 75k and 87k you can get a partial rebate. Everyone else can go cry in their hummers.

Q: But, I’m married and make over 150k
A: Cry to Trevor about it on the 16th green, douchenozzle

Q: But, don’t I have to pay it back on my 2008 taxes?
A: No, the rebate is technically an advance on a credit you will receive on your 08 taxes. George loves you, you’re welcome.

Q: Doesn’t this mean my children or children’s children are paying for this rebate?
A: No. The U.S. government will collapse long before then. Quit whining and spend your money.

Q: Can I spend my money on hookers and blow?
A: Not legally. Welcome to the land of the free. Have some nice cigarettes and prozac instead.

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