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Pennsylvania City/Town Names That Sound Like Other Pennsylvania City/Town Names

By M Davies   /     Jul 04, 2018  /     Misc/Crap, NEPA, Pittsburgh, The WTF File, TV Rants, Uncategorized  /     0 Comment

I started thinking about this about a year and a half ago after I seriously contemplated relocating to Pittsburgh for better opportunities. This is what working in TV news for 5 years does to your mind – IT FUCKS WITH YOUR BRAIN CELLS (those that are left over from the lack of sleep and/or alcoholism switched up with a caffeine addiction). I started writing out this list from what was on the top of my head, and here’s what I came up with:

  • Wallenpaupack and Wapwallopen
  • Pittsburgh, Pittston, Pottstown, Pottsville
  • Catawissa and Catasaqua
  • Lewisberry and Lewisburg
  • Hughesville and Hughestown
  • Shamokin and Shamokin Dam
  • New Philadelphia and Philadelphia
  • Newtown and West Newton
  • Lansford and Lansdale
  • Blakeslee and Blakely
  • Tamaqua and Mocanaqua

I posted this half crocked thought to Facebook one evening and much to my surprise, people started contributing their own suggestions. Needless to say, I ended up with quite the list. Some of these may be repeats too…I’m way too lazy to edit them out at this point because this was a pain in the ass to copy and paste in from Facebook. Here’s the other contributions and conversation that transpired on my wall (names not withheld):

  • Steve Albert Methtown and Methville
  • Michelle Ann So in other words Plymouth and Plymouth Meeting?
  • Steve Albert Although based on what I’ve seen in the news, Shamokin has passed Plymitt as the place you’re most likely to get Contact Hepatitis.
  • Summer Beretsky Bukeavich Lewisburg and Lewistown, Mifflinburg and Mifflintown, Hanover and Hanover Twp
  • Alex Milanes Hazel twp Hazleton
  • Steve Albert There is a York and a York Springs
  • Roger DuPuis II Too many Paradise Townships
  • Michelle Ann Too many Tunkahnnock Townships.
  • Bob Meier Hokendauqua or Mocanaqua
  • Brian Ptashinski Tamaqua and Michelle Ann Catasaqua
  • Rachel Farrow Catasauqua, as someone who had the misfortune of renting a house there and enjoyed ordering delivery foo
  • Roger DuPuis II Hanover and Hanover Township
  • Bob Meier Huntington Mills or Huntington Twp
  • Bob Meier Blakley Blakslee
  • Pat Ward Wilkes-Barre-Wiles-Barre twp..A whole bunch of them..
  • Roger DuPuis II But there’s only one Intercourse, baby. *drops mic*
  • Summer Beretsky Bukeavich Aren’t all babies intercourse babies? 👶🏼
  • Michelle Ann Kingsley / Kingston
  • Paulie John Plymouth, Plymouth meeting , Plymouth township ,
  • Bruce Parry Stroudsburg and Strasburg
  • Paulie John Jackson twp a bunch of those as well
  • Paulie John West Pittston, pittston , pittston township
  • Colin Joyce Scranton and scotrun?
  • Michelle Ann My grandmother once called it Scrotum.
  • Bill Michlowski Every time I pass that exit on I-80, I see “Scrotum.” Every. Damn. Time.
  • Bob Meier Hughstown or Hughsville
  • Roger DuPuis II Pottstown and Pottsville
  • Harold Jenkins Nanticoke and Nanty Glo. I mean, seriously?
  • Steve Albert Wilkes-Barry, Wilkes-Bar
  • Michelle Ann #TeamBerry
  • Steve Albert I’ve been known to be snarky and refer to it as “Wilkes-Boro”
  • Michelle Ann Mountain Top and Mountainhome`
  • Bill Michlowski Mifflinville and Mifflinburg
  • Steve Albert Landisville and Landisburg (where I lived once)
  • Melissa Chrusch Benton and East Benton being no where near each other confuses me
  • Jennifer Sliwinski Just like tunkhannock & tunkhannock twp. Not near each other
  • Bill Michlowski Milford and New Milford
  • Melissa Chrusch I was about to say those. They drive me nuts I get confused which is which lol
  • Leo Russo Coaldale is just Carbondale dumbed down.
  • Steve Albert Shickshinny and Shitshinny  (sorry, I just made that one up)
  • Michelle Ann I always call it Hickshinny
  • Steve Albert I’d think of another Shamokin snarky comment, but I’m all out.
  • Michelle Ann Time to go meet your lawyer at the Dunkin.
  • Steve Albert What a town…you can get a coffee, donut, legal advice and crystal meth all at the same place #ShamokinStyle
  • Michelle Ann (Delaware) Water Gap and Wind Gap
  • Brian Ptashinski Slatedale and Slatington
  • Dale Wilsey Jr. Mechanicsburg Mechanicsville
  • Erich Granahan Mount Pocono, Pocono Summit, Pocono Pines
  • Erich Granahan I’ve been to Monroe County last two nights so that was easy lol
  • Thomas Hovey Mifflinville and Mifflintown
  • Michelle Ann Wyoming and Wyomissing.
  • Bill Michlowski And Wyalusing
  • John Longfield Blakely & Blakeslee
  • Bill Michlowski Forksville and Forkston
  • John Longfield Oakland & Oakland
  • John Longfield Susquehanna (Depot) & Susquehanna (Valley)
  • Thomas Hovey Landsdale and Landingville
  • Noreen Clark Mountain Top & Mount Top
  • Thomas Hovey Pleasant Mount and Pleasant Valley
  • Bill Michlowski
  • Bill Michlowski Wilburton Number One and Wilburton Number Two
  • Michelle Ann Paxonia and Paxtang
  • Bill Michlowski And Paxinos lol
  • Christopher J. Beers Shamokin and Sha MOKIN!
  • Brian Ptashinski Shanksville and Schnecksville
  • Michelle Ann Kunkle and Kunkletown
  • Brian Ptashinski Cresson and Cressona
  • Harold Jenkins Blue Bell and Blue Ball. (From Blue Ball it’s just a short ride to Intercourse.)
  • Harold Jenkins Dammit, I should have said “short drive.”
  • Michelle Ann You just had to slip in there.
  • Brian Ptashinski Believe it or not Glen Campbell (Indiana County)and Glen Hope(Clearfield County
  • Jennifer Sliwinski Glenn Lyon
  • Bill Michlowski Ashley and Ashland
  • Bill Michlowski Sugarloaf and Sugar Notch
  • Michelle Ann That’s a good one!
  • Michelle Ann Orangeville and Orwigsburg always messes with me.
  • Michelle Ann Millville and Mill Hall
  • Brian Ptashinski Wyoming and Wyomissing
  • Karen Kozacheck Nescopeck and Nesquehoning…Berwick and Berwyn
  • Stephen Lloyd Susquehanna County and Susquehanna University not near each other
  • Mike Frank Burnside Milford and New Milford PA
  • Sara Barthol Add Lansdowne with Lansdale… that shit gets f’d up even by train conductors down here.
  • Sara Barthol Oh and there’s Newtown Square
  • Lori Kerzmann-Motto yes, Newtown and Newtown Square! I got those mixed up all the time when I first moved down here, and they’re not even near each other!
  • Sara Barthol Me too. I think they’re further apart than Lansdowne and Lansdale!
  • Sara Barthol My favorite, since I live here is Springfield and Springfield. Both in the Philly region but one’s in Delaware County and the other is in Montgomery County.
  • Michelle Ann I’m so glad I am not the only one who gets confused by this nonsense!
  • Sara Barthol Anytime I participate in a “where’s everyone from” post… I always say “Springfield (DelCo)” and I’m pretty sure most people are like wtf is DelCo? And… amusingly enough, I found out that my brother and I both live in Delaware County… just two different states.
  • Jen Nicolosi I think Bethlehem and Bensalem can be confused too
  • Michelle Ann I think this is a new one! No one hasn’t mentioned it yet.
  • Lacey Tyre Timony People confuse Tamaqua with Towanda and Turkhannock also
  • Lacey Tyre Timony I confuse Orefield and Orwigsburg. Also Lewisburg and Lewistown
  • Thomas Hovey Plymouth and Plymouth Meeting
  • John Davies scrotum/scotrun
  • Sally Black There’s also the ever popular Sciota which all out of state people pronouce as Scrotum and then we have to remind them, no that’s outside of Blue Balls
  • Sally Black OH…and don’t get me started on Hop Bottom – who names a town Hop Bottom…there’s GOT to be a great story there
  • Michelle Ann I think we can all agree no one will ever confuse anything with Conshohocken, because at least half of the state can’t even pronounce it.
  • Jessy Schaffer Can’t ever confuse Jim Thorpe with anything. That is such a neat little town.
  • Bruce Abbott Scranton and Scotrun
  • Bruce Abbott Upper Askam and Lower Askam. Haha
  • Michelle Ann Askam? I hardly know him!
  • Bruce Abbott King of Prussia and…and…really, where the hell did they get that name?
  • Bob Meier Prussia was the German empire prior to the nazi takeover.  The southeast part of PA had a large influx of German immigrants from the 1700s to the mid 1800s. They named the town after King Fredrick of Prussia.
  • Bruce Abbott Funny that it stuck and didn’t become something else over the years.
  • Jennifer D. Wade Kingston and Kingston
  • Nicole Karr Berwick and Berwyn
  • Thomas Hovey Bryan Mawr and Mar Lin
  • Marisa Grier Stroudsburg and east Stroudsburg
  • Marisa Grier Catasaqua & Catawissa
  • Dan Turansky Tamaqua Towanda
  • Dan Turansky Slateford Staledale Slatington
  • Jennifer D. Wade Mocanaqua and Tamaqua
  • Jeffrey Johnson Mauch Chunk and Equinunk
  • Daniel Carey Nothin’ sounds like Wilkes-Barre. Or is it Wilkes-Bar, Wilkes-Barry, or Wilkes-Barra?
  • Michelle Ann I hate Wilkes-Bahr. That is like nails on a chahlk boahrd.
  • Bob Meier Not exactly the same, but some people would find it confusing that warrior run school district has nothing to do with and is no where near warrior run pa
  • Michelle Ann I was thinking about that earlier.
  • Brian Ptashinski Meshoppen and Conshohocken
  • Bob Meier Browntown (between Wysox & Wyalusing ) & Browntown ( the south end of the pittston bypass )

 

Keep it weird AND confusing, Pennsylvania. That’ll confuse ’em!

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Seroquil Soliloquoy

By M Davies   /     Jul 03, 2018  /     Into the Void, Misc/Crap  /     3 Comments

10 days of being voluntarily committed, a polarizing blog post by Michelle Davies, written on 6/29/18.

 

WHAT I LEARNED…

 

After 10 days of nonstop advocating for myself as well as my life and affairs — I learned to start paying it forward.

I mean, I really always did that, but it was radiated and magnified because of my elevated mood. And before you start getting thoughts in your head – no drugs were involved. Just caffeine and cigarettes, which now seem to be my only 2 remaining vices. Also, a GNC woman’s multi-vitamin (if that counts).

Sometimes all it takes is a little love, some guts, dreaming and creativity to put the important things back into focus.

Here are my takeaways:

  • I’m happy for the first time in EVER and I’m actually learning to smile and joke and love myself again. I remember who I am, who I always was. I missed me.
  • I woke up with the sun.
  • I stayed up late (NOT IN THE SAME DAY, PIPE THE FUCK DOWN)
  • I didn’t ask for permission.
  • I was polite.
  • I had manners (albeit a filthy mouth and mind).
  • I realized I raised terrific, well-adjusted children to which I am proud of. Each in their own unique way.
  • I cleaned, cooked, bathed, watched tv, shopped and cared for 2 children and a needy cat alone.
  • I protected them and love them alone.
  • I learned (which I always knew) that it’s sometimes helpful to rely on the help of others.
  • Talk therapy does help, even if its with your best friend or your favorite notebook and writing utensil.

All any of these took was nearly dying to realize I was never really living. I’m only 37. This is time for a new beginning. I am no longer afraid. I found my joy.

I thank my angels for watching over me: Christy Elston, George Gumpert, Jeff Lamana, Both of my Grandparents, My Aunt Sue, Frank Murgalis, Felicia Thomas, Jennifer Barzilowski and lastly, Justin Hossage.

I close this chapter on the last 14 years of my life, and look forward to the next 14 and beyond. It’s a great day to be ALIVE.

Also, this is NOT a suicide note, so just pipe the fuck down. I still carry George’s PV ID card around in my wallet as a constant reminder of what suicide does to families. Here’s the proof:

Peace.

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Heinz Ketchup

By M Davies   /     Jun 27, 2018  /     Annoyances, Misc/Crap, Pittsburgh  /     0 Comment

I have a real problem with the Kraft Heinz Company.

Why is it that I’m not able to buy glass bottles of Heinz Ketchup anywhere in Northeast PA. I am able to buy the glass bottles in Pittsburgh, but not in my hometown of Sweet Valley (or anywhere in NEPA for that matter).

After calling my Heinz/Kraft Ketchup contacts, including the 800 # on the back of the bottle – here’s what I learned — It is considered a “food service item.” This means that the bottles are only available for restaurants and commercial businesses to purchase.

Um, NOT.

If I can buy it in the glass bottle in any local “Jaunt Iggles” (that’s Pittsburghese for Giant Eagle – a popular chain of supermarkets in Pittsburgh/SWPA), I should be able to buy it ANYWHERE including Northeast PA.

So what the dill(pickle)? As far as I’m concerned, there is a very different set of tastes associated with glass and plastic bottles which I can prove in this blind taste test which my kid allowed me to film. Here’s the non-scientific taste test setup:

As you can see the results were fairly obvious.

Well, not really, because my lovely son flubbed the results. Even though he didn’t see me setup the test, he knew by the ketchup textures which one was which, FURTHER PROVING MY POINT. I double checked the ingredient list on both bottles and they are the same, however the glass bottle ketchup is more smooth and somewhat thinner. The plastic bottle ketchup is thicker. To me, the glass bottled ketchup tastes more tangy as well. This is the same results whether the ketchup has been room temperature or in the refrigerator.

However, just humor me and watch this stupid video anyway because, I said so…

 

There also seems to be a divine hatred toward non-Heinz Ketchup in Pittsburgh. If you like Ketchup that’s not Heinz then you’re an outcast of society. Hunts? I think not.

 

The history of Heinz ketchup is as follows:

The company was founded some 125 years ago by Henry John Heinz, the son of a German immigrant. It has been selling ketchup since 1876. Legend has it that Henry John Heinz invented ketchup by adapting a Chinese recipe for so-called Cat Sup, a thick sauce made from tomatoes, special seasoning and starch.

Food engineer Werner Stoll of the Heinz company is positive: “H.J. Heinz invented ketchup. That’s for sure. The concept of ketchup began here in Pittsburgh. It didn’t exist before that.”

The extraordinary story of Heinz ketchup began with 25-year old H.J. Heinz experimenting in the kitchen of his German mother. He decided to market his mother’s grated horseradish and bottled this product in clear glass jars to show its purity. Heinz’ horseradish soon became a success.

Source: http://www.dw.com/en/pittsburgh-pa-where-henry-john-heinz-invented-ketchup/a-276279

Fast forward to 2015…The Kraft Heinz Company was formed by the merger of Kraft Foods Group and Heinz. The merger was backed by 3G Capital and Berkshire Hathaway, which invested US$10 billion in the deal, making Kraft Heinz worth about US$46 billion. In 2015, the Kraft Heinz Company had 13 different brands with $500 million or more each in annual sales.

In addition to the rich history of Pittsburgh’s most favorite condiment, the Heinz History Center is home to several interesting exhibits one of which includes the ENTIRE ORIGINAL MISTER ROGERS’ NEIGHBORHOOD SET. If you’ve been paying attention, this was previously on my Pittsburgh bucket list.

A few weeks ago, me and a friend from Nebraska got into a verbal altercation about whether or not Heinz 57 sauce was the same as being ketchup. I was convinced it was, he was not. It wasn’t until I went to the supermarket and bought a bottle of the Heinz 57 sauce and tasted it until I knew that was not the case. Here’s a picture of the bottles for your reference.

57 Sauce (glass bottle), glass Heinz Ketchup bottle, shitty tasting plastic Heinz Ketchup bottle respectively

To note: YOU CAN BUY THE 57 SAUCE IN A GLASS BOTTLE. SO WHY CANNOT I NOT ALSO GET THE KETCHUP IN A GLASS BOTTLE. I guess a logical argument could be that it costs too much money and the road infrastructure from Pburgh to NEPA is too poor and the bottles would smash. HOWEVER, WHY IS 57 SAUCE ALSO NOT IN A PLASTIC BOTTLE. WHY CAN THE RESTAURANTS HAVE THE GLASS BOTTLES, BUT NOT US. Sorry….it gets me a little fired up.

I’m not saying it’s the only Ketchup, but it kind of is. There is a local startup (I think) in Pittston, home of the annual tomato festival, that makes their own brand of tomato ketchup. I haven’t tried it, but I hear it isn’t half bad. Here’s their website should you be interested in picking up a bottle locally.

 

I’m just really bothered that restaurants can have the Ketchup, and us commoners cannot. I don’t want to drive halfway across the state to get my glass bottles of ketchup. So I guess for someone who isn’t a connoisseur of ketchup usually, I am pretty well versed in the art of making a well informed decision about my ketchup.

As Bruno Mars would say, CATCH UP. Oops…I meant to say “Keep up!” Lol, whatever.

 

YES I AM AWARE I WROTE AN ENTIRE BLOG POST ABOUT KETCHUP. Shut up. Leave me alone.

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240 Involuntary Hours in the Psych Ward – a journal (part 3)

By M Davies   /     Jun 26, 2018  /     30 Day @Neilbytes Blogging Challenge, 30 days of truth, Annoyances, Blogging, Community Service, Family, Into the Void, Medical Issues, Misc/Crap, Mommyhood, NEPA, Quotes, Rejection, The WTF File, TV Rants, Uncategorized, Wacky PA Weather  /     0 Comment

This is a continuation of the journal that I kept while I was involuntarily held in a mental hospital on a 302 and later a 303. If you’d like to read the first part of the journey to get the hell out of the hospital, check out part 1, located here and part 2 located here. This is the third and final part in the series.

Sun. 6/17/18 8pm

Dee came to visit me today. That visiting hour passed rather quickly. I was rather relieved that my Mother didn’t come to see me. She sometimes gets on my last nerve even though I know she means well. Harold was attending a book reading and my Mom/Dad/Russell all went for pizza for Father’s Day.

Some good news though, I am leaving tomorrow. Hopefully by 1pm, I’ll be out of here. I can’t wait to shower and get a pedicure and shave. REDACTED NAME leaves Tuesday! Yay! Good for him! Maybe our paths will cross sooner rather than later *wink wink nudge nudge*. From my ride home, I will pick up my car and clothes and laptop from Swa Va. I have my Fiat ready to go to my Mom’s then Tuesday I meet with my lawyer to start divorce proceedings. Then I sail back to Sax for a few days to collect some belongings and pay my $10 library fine.

Oopsie woopsie!

My goal is to finish this book before I leave tomorrow – 20 pages left. What a goal! Let’s hope it comes true!

TTYL,

Michelle “HD”

__________________

Blank Space – Write your Name

T. Swift

Some quotes and shit:

  • “You are wonderful”
  • “Anything is possible”
  • “Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s ok to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you’re headed.”
  • *Did you know — in the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator
  • *Did you know — in an average lifetime, you will swallow 5 spiders, but why stop there, TREAT YOURSELF
  • Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time — Thomas Alva Edison
  • When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.  — Henry Ford
  • You are enough…you are stronger than you think you are — Me
  • “Whiners go home early” – Tim Dahlberg (it was a headline in the TL that made me laugh out loud)

Messages on Graduation Caps & Gowns in the Newspaper:

  • Do beautiful things with your beautiful life
  • The best is yet to come
  • Bloom where you are planted
  • Expect something incredible
  • Already forgot everything
  • Freedom

Mon. 6/18 5am

Weather: Partly Sunny, Hot/Humid, Passing showers later

Hi: 86-93

Low: 64

TODAY IS THE DAY!

I’m coming home! Lots of stuff to do to get myself back on the grid, but I am not worried at all. I feel energized!

REDACTED NAME seems happy that I get to leave today for some reason…

I wonder why…

Such a sweet boy, love him to death.

Reminds me of that song by Iggy Azalea – Black Widow. That’s probably a poor comparison. But it’s like every song I hear suddenly triggers my memory of something that we’ve talked about or have done in our personal lives. Is that weird? Probably, but no one said I was normal ever. I heard Journey playing in the halls yesterday as we did laps and that song also reminds me of him. He keeps saying he never wants his heart broken again – I won’t – because mutually, I don’t want my heart broken either.

There needs to be trust and open communication by both parties for this to work. I think that’s why both of our marriages are or have failed in the first place. I’m willing to give love another shot. It terrifies me, but in a good way? Which probably makes no sense.

I usually trust no one at first. They have to earn my respect and trust.

My friend Steve told me that’s no way to live life. Trust everyone until they give you a reason NOT to trust them. That’s easier said than done when you’ve been fucked over as many times as I have. All I can do is try.

11 pages to go. We’re in the home stretch. More later…

XOXOXO

-Michelle

Mon. 6/17/18 6am

I though more about past relationships and other than CJ and George (RIP), I’ve been fucked over in every relationship that I’ve ever been in. I have no reason to be nasty to anyone else. I have enough hurt for 2 people.

Note: My pencil is sharpened now, LOL. Still no pen.

Anyway, I was catfished, cheated on, abused, dumped the day after my Grandmother died, and head games galore. Lots of painful memories that I don’t wish to recreate EVER. I don’t want to do it and I don’t want it done to me. Period.

I am ready to go (in the words of Republica)

-Michelle

*(drawing of the 16 logo and lyrics to the open)*

*1234 Feist Lyrics Collage*

Mon. 6/18/18 11:45am

AM

OUT

!!!!

Things I missed and am grateful for:

  • My family
  • My phone
  • My concealer
  • Ulta
  • Netflix/Hulu/Streaming
  • My Friends
  • My Car
  • Freedom
  • Happiness
  • Joy
  • Love
  • Freshly Cut Grass
  • Perfume
  • My Flat Iron
  • Real Food
  • Beer
  • Shaving My Legs/Arm Pits
  • Pedicures
  • Manicures
  • Sunrises & Sunsets
  • My MUSIC
  • Sushi

Reflections:

My husband put me here because afraid of me, but then told my doctor that he wasn’t afraid of me. I lost ten precious days with my children because of this. I, however, met an amazing guy who helped me cope with “the looney bin.” That says a mouthful, doesn’t it?

Pretty soon, I will have my life back in order and I cannot wait.

This experience has been an important one. I feel strong when I was weak. I feel weak where I was strong. Call it yin and yang.

I am finally at peace and I have joy in my heart. I WILL be okay. I cannot wait to go back on the grid.

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

This is my ending, however god (or whatever supreme being you believe in) doesn’t close a door without opening a window.

The window is open and I can feel the breeze, smell the freshly cut grass and feel the warmth. The future is promising. I can’t wait!

Four ending thoughts:

  1. (And I’ve said this before) Don’t fuck with an #AMNewser. Not now. Not ever.
  2. You can’t out soprano a soprano.
  3. Stitches get snitches.
  4. ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF DMX LYRICS.

 

THE END

(or is it …. ?)

Thanks for listening!

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240 Involuntary Hours in the Psych Ward – a journal (part 2)

By M Davies   /     Jun 25, 2018  /     30 Day @Neilbytes Blogging Challenge, 30 days of truth, Annoyances, Blogging, Community Service, Family, Into the Void, Medical Issues, Misc/Crap, Mommyhood, NEPA, Quotes, Rejection, The WTF File, TV Rants, Uncategorized, Wacky PA Weather  /     0 Comment

This is a continuation of the journal that I kept while I was involuntarily held in a mental hospital on a 302 and later a 303. If you’d like to read the first part of the journey to get the hell out of the hospital, check out part 1, located here.

6/16/18 2pm

The dayshift nurses are a bunch of Bolsheviks. In my patient rights it specifically states that I am able to conduct my affairs while I’m in here. All of my business is on my phone, which I’m not allowed to have — looks like I’m never ever getting out, all thanks to my darling of a husband, isn’t he sweet? 302ing me so that I missed the following:

  1. My son’s graduation
  2. Both kids last day of school
  3. Our wedding anniversary
  4. Father’s Day

Lovely man which comes from an equally lovely family. And when I say lovely I mean DICKHOLES.

I pae these hallways so much that I may have kittens (or at least that’s likely what the nurses think).

He’s royally fucking up my life and we need to go our separate ways. I’m over the bullshit and drama with his family. OVER IT.

I called my atty again.

LETTUCE PREY (pun intended) for a miracle or some divine intervention from above.

I think I scared away poor (REDACTED NAME) away. I suck, blah, whatever. I’m a shit person who doesn’t deserve anything good apparently. I hope he doesn’t hate me.

Time moves so slow in this place it’s like 1 year is 1 day. Thank god my mother brought me a watch. Now if I could just get my glasses I’ll be able to read up close.

I really hope some of my friends come today. 5 days of Mom is too much.

Signing off for now,

MICHELLE HRYVNIAK

6/16/18 4pm

I wonder if someday I will be telling my grandchildren about the great tornado of 2018 like how my grandparents told me about hurricane agnes’ flood. I really hope to have grandchildren some day. It’s nice to find an audience that’s captive which is why I find blogging so therapeutic…

Maybe one day they’ll read about my entire journey and document it for history books. Haha, yeah right, but at least it’s an accurate representation of my life until now.

<plans about leaving hospital>

Plan A Modified

Look for Apt, TGIFridays

Plan B Modified

Take Uber to Swa Va, get car and possessions civilly – head to Saxonburg, move possessions by August 1 back to Blakeslee while apartment searching, get security deposit back $660 and use for new deposit. Look in HUGHESVILLE. Dad and I will get stuff from Saxonburg.

STUFF I HAVE IN SAXONBURG:

  • Drawer Set
  • Some clothes, toiletries, shoes
  • Microwave
  • Table/Chairs
  • Pots/Pans/Dishes/Cubs/Crockpot
  • Some food (toss)
  • Bed
  • Bookshelf w/ books
  • Hangers
  • 3 lamps
  • Desk
  • Love Seat
  • Chair
  • TV/Roku
  • TV Stand (trash)
  • Coffee Maker
  • DVD Player
  • Tapestry
  • Pictures
  • Wreath
  • Door Mats
  • Toaster
  • Foreman Grill
  • Bakers Rack
  • End Tables
  • Coffee table

*Make a weird PA bucket list*

Blog post idea: Hryvniak Again, origin, blah blah blah currency, family I found through Facebook

WOW upside down is MOM.

(REDACTED PAGE)

6/16/18 11pm

When he’s around my whole body can feel it. It’s hard to explain. I just can sense his presence. It’s exciting. It gives me goosebumps and chills all at once. I am falling fast and it’s scary. Exciting scary.

It looks like I’m here for another day or two then I will activate either Plan A or Plan B depending on the circumstance.

Bottom line, this will be a clean break. It has to be for the kids sake and for my sanity. Successful families grow together and not apart. I’ve grown a lot since meeting him at age 19. He has not. He’s stubborn and refuses to grow and accept that I’ve grown as a person. He talks at me rather than to me – if that at all makes sense. I need a partner, someone who will listen as well as communicates.

Look, I know I’m no angel, but I deserve to be treated better. That much, I know.

For years, I’ve referred to our marriage as oil and water (or is it oil and vinegar?) Either way – we don’t mix well together. These last two months back home have been awful with him. It’s like a pressure cooker ready to explode.

Putting the 302 on me was the lowest of the low things he could do. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He behaves just like his assinine family. I guess this is what you’d call the perverbial straw on the camel’s back. I’M DONE WITH HIS SHIT!

Here’s to new beginnings. Change to me is terrifying, but necessary for growth.

So let it be written…

So let it be done…

Signing off for now,

-Michelle “HAITCH” Dee

Visitors to Date: Harold, Mom, Dee, Dad, Cheri, Heather

Sun. 6/17/18 3am

(Father’s Day)

Still stuck in “the pen” without a pen. It’s Father’s Day and I hope R— enjoys spending it alone with his two children. I’m about 9/10 that he will get nothing from either of them. They won’t remember and if/when they do it will be too late, he’ll already be pissed.

I am awake and ready to conquer the day.

It’s times like these I’m reminded of that Rob Thomas/Matchbox 20 song “3AM”

“It’s three am, I must be lonely”

My friend Matt told me that Rob Thomas wrote this song about his sick mother. My kids are probably thinking the same thing about me. I don’t want to scare them unecessarily.

“Yeah everything is fine, honey, your Daddy put Mommy in a psych ward.”

I wouldn’t imagine that would go over well especially since both of them saw my stomach staples (not on purpose). Someday I will let them know the whole story, maybe even let them read this book.

When Cheri visited yesterday, she brought me a new book in case I fill this one. She’s so nice. I want to send her a thank you card. I’ll have to wait until the phones open up again to call and get it.

I can’t wait for NAME REDACTED to wake up. Miss him. My partner in crime.

FIGURATIVELY NOT LITERALLY

It’s so sad when you have to make that statement every time you make a sick joke in here. I’m sarcastic and love dark comedy a lot, so I say that about 3 bazillion times a day.

My suture area is super duper itchy. I’m trying desperately not to scratch it, but GAHHHHH!

I’ll quietly watch the news on 16 at 5am and think about the fun times we had at the station over the years. I miss that place a lot.

Blahhhhh whatever.

Signing off.

Best,

Michelle

PS – I miss my hummingbird and robin families.

6/17/18 5am

Bienvenidos a mi vida loca! Ole!

Weird questions I have —

  • How do you throw away a garbage can?
  • Why am I here?
  • Does the butterfly theory exist?
  • Could I start a successful vlog?
  • Who cares why the chicken crossed the road?
  • Can you pickle pickles?
  • How deep is your love?
  • I wonder how many divorces there are in Virginia (the state for lovers).

Weather for Father’s Day

Hi: 80-91

Low: 50

Hazy, Hot, Humid, Sun and a possible storm later on.

List of Noreenisms (yes, I even miss Noreen today!):

  • It is a good morning, Andy!
  • Hi Andy, good morning everyone.
  • Water your elderly (kidding, she never said this)
  • I’m sorry, Honey
  • Chiggers
  • Acrossst
  • Shades of Gray
  • Milky White Appearance
  • Peeks and Breaks
  • Today Offers…..(Happiness, hopefully)

I CAN’T COMPLAIN, BUT I STILL DO!  – MAHD

Remind me to tell Colleen about the Iron Pigs Sandlot Movie Tribute. Sun, July 1st in Allentown!

Fiat situation: What to do? Keep? Sell?

Don’t forget Macklemore tickets! Something to look forward to – July 21 in Hershey!

Check on Uhaul costs and return policy

6/17 (no time listed)

I miss my podcasts as well. Damnit.

  • Jenna & Julien
  • Babysitters Club Club
  • AMR
  • Crime One (I forget the name)

I also miss my fave YouTubers.

  • RLM
  • Pburgh Dad
  • Jenna
  • Julien
  • Pressure Luck
  • Cooking w/ Jack
  • Noreen’s Kitchen
  • Freaking Reviews
  • Binging with Babish
  • Chef John
  • Zach Morris is Trash
  • Carin’s Corner

LOL – the power blipped here and now the Circus Electric traffic camera channels all say “NO VCR” – LOLOLOLOLOL. What the ever loving hell?

For Mother’s Day, I got a dildo from R—. For Father’s Day, I got put in a psych ward. LOVELY!

*label from bottle of Nestle Pure Life water*

Purified water…from Allentown public water…..OK THEN?

More blog post ideas: Words my husband doesn’t know, aunt’s house dream Thunder by Imagine Dragons was in the basement, I can name that tune in 5 notes.

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Dave Pedri: Fun Ruiner

By M Davies   /     Jun 24, 2018  /     Community Service, Hilarity, Into the Void, Misc/Crap, Rejection, The WTF File  /     0 Comment

I had a blog post all planned out to make fun of Luzerne County roads, but Dave Pedri ruined it for me. THANKS A LOT DAVE PEDRI.

I can’t really complain, I still got what I wanted, but I STILL WILL, because you know that’s how I roll.

 

Allow me to explain….

 

Dave Pedri and I go back all the way back to 2010 when he was in my Leadership Wilkes-Barre class. He’s a cool cat, levelheaded, funny and a good listener. Fast forward 8 years and now he’s the manager of Luzerne County. As in, the. entire. county. I have a love/hate relationship with this county (my home) for a variety of reasons depending on the week and how hangry and/or PMSing I am that particular day. Dave is and has been a good friend and I hope he can see past my bitchiness.

 

My latest bone of contention is Luzerne County’s $5 Vehicle Registration Fee. The fee allegedly will be used fix roads and bridges. Here’s a convenient list of said roads for your review thanks to our local Times Leader newspaper. I’m not sure how or why Luzerne County decided to get into the road management business, but at some point, they did. It was a poor decision. I think, from what I’ve heard and what I’ve read, (I could be wrong) it was because they were offloading the burden of local municipalities. A lot of these roads are in Hanover Township (the industrial park specifically), the back mountain and in Mountain Top/Hazleton areas. Make no mistake, I do not oppose a $5 fee to fix infrastructure, HOWEVER….

 

Luzerne County is a known corruption capitol. Need I mention the names Skrepenak, Conahan, Ciavarella? AHEM. Not the best track record to say the least.

 

That is not to say the Titanic is still headed toward the iceberg. The ship may have been righted, or may be on its way to being righted. However, PennDOT is still taking $.77 of every gallon of gas you pump for infrastructure. Source: http://www.erienewsnow.com/story/37171370/no-gas-tax-hike-scheduled-in-pa-in-2018 

Hell, we are still paying tax on alcohol in this state for the 1936 Johnstown Flood.

 

AT ANY RATE…

 

My original point of this post was because I saw a story on WNEP this week about Domino’s pothole repair plan. In case you didn’t know what this was, or haven’t heard about it, basically Domino’s guarantees that if a customer damages their pizza before they make it home, the company will replace the pizza for free. HOWEVER, now, they’re making sure potholes can’t destroy the pie as well.

I, of course, laughed for about 5 minutes like a crazy person because I vowed that when I got out of the hospital, my first order of business was to go and buy a pizza and start driving around all of the roads that are KNOWN PROBLEMS so that I could get them fixed and get free pizza. I started making a list….here it is:

“Paving for Pizza”

  • Hillside Road (county road)
  • Chase Road (county road)
  • Old 115 (county road)
  • Blackman Street (Wilkes-Barre)
  • Main Road (county road in Sweet Valley)
  • Rte 115 (state road)

This list was dated 6/13/18.

 

On Thursday, June 21st, Mr. David Pedri messaged me with the following information:

Road and bridge crew just got done on hillside road. Reporting to main road sweet valley tomorrow.

 

I drove the road yesterday and today. It’s a magical dream. It’s as smooth as a baby’s bottom.


A few weeks ago, I wrote this little gem:

Main Road in Sweet Valley looks like it’s a road in a third world country. There are less holes in a piece of Swiss Cheese.

On Monday, May 28th, there is a Fireman’s parade in tandem with the annual Memorial Day weekend Fair, which is presented by the Volunteer Ambulance/Fire companies. Here’s a link to the Facebook event:

https://www.facebook.com/events/2071067353161431??ti=ia

The road is still deplorable condition. The parade usually lines up at Ross Elementary and travels down to the area of North Lake Road. As a tax payer and a parent who has to travel that road often for school events, I am CONCERNED about this. We are hosting fire companies/ambulances etc from all over the Back Mountain. It’s embarrassing, but in addition, I’d hate to see another community’s emergency vehicles have a tire or axle taken out due to county negligence. In addition, will the parade of larger vehicles cause more damage to the road?

I called Karen Boback’s Office who referred me to Larry Plesh in the Luzerne County Road Dept. He says there’s a drainage issue that needs to be addressed before the road can be resurfaced. I’m not an idiot, I know there’s a series of events that needs to happen to get things fixed up the correct way. But when you have several businesses, churches, A SCHOOL and the emergency vehicles all on the same road swerving into opposite lanes to avoid potholes, well, someone could die. It’s a major safety concern. Can they not at least PATCH the road until the other issues can be addressed? This is utterly ridiculous.

Is Luzerne County holding our roads hostage until they get their 5 dollars? What is going on here?

If you can shed some light on this matter, it would be appreciated. Thank you!

 

I stand corrected and apologize. Dave Pedri has and continues to shock me with his kindness and ability to listen. I’m not normally a political blogger and HATE HATE HATE talking politics, but the man is doing as good of a job as anyone could do under the circumstances he inherited and for that I am grateful.


 

However, he still ruined the original concept for this blog post and now I’m pissed off that I’m not getting a free pizza.

 

Yo Dave, where’s my Domino’s?

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