30 days of truth

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Day 3 :: Something you have to forgive yourself for

By M Davies   /     Oct 04, 2011  /     30 days of truth  /     0 Comment

I stopped doing my 30 days of truth long ago when I came across day 3.  I know what I wanted to write, but it required more thought.  If you want to read what I have to forgive myself for, then you need to read my previous post.  I have it password protected because it is a very personal matter for me.  If you would like to read the entry in its entirety, please email me at mhryvnak@gmail.com and I will provide the password. 

Maybe I'll pick up where I left off with the 30 days of truth….maybe not.  I haven't decided yet.  There are somethings that I would like to keep private, maybe in those cases I will lock the entry.

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Day 2 :: Something you love about yourself

By M Davies   /     Nov 07, 2010  /     30 days of truth  /     0 Comment

It amazes me that after all of these years, I still manage to watch "Dog the Bounty Hunter" when I can't sleep.  I mean its probably one of the most redneck-ish/weird shows on TV, but I can't take my eyes off of it.  Maybe someday if I ever get to travel to Hawaii, I'll try to find the office and knock on the door for an autograph or something.  Anyway…

It's finally time to post the next truth, hence the above title of this post.

Stephanie was right.  This post is going to be hard.  It is far more easy to be overly critical about yourself and talk about what you dislike about yourself than what you love…like….tollerate….whatever.

I guess if I had to pick one thing that I really do love about myself it would have to be my ability to pick up stuff quickly.  In the span of 3 years, I went from my job at "Big Red Telephone Company" (which I formerly referred to as "The Company"), to an Internet E-Commerce Company, to an online vacuum cleaner sales company, to a major food company.  I've had to learn and forget so much terminology and methods very quickly. 

Ok, so who wants to know the difference between an ISDN BRI and PRI?  What?  You say you want to do a CSV upload to your Yahoo Store?  Why yes, I do know the difference between a Dyson DC 24 ball and a DC 25 ball…do you?  By the way…that's just a small sampling of the useless knowledge floating around in my brain.  Let's face it, if you don't work at a phone company, you don't give a damn about how many timeslots are in a DS1.

I seem to have found a good home where I finally landed (the major food company), but everyday has been an uphill battle.  I basically need to have my brain deprogrammed of telco terminology and reprogrammed with supply chain terminology.  It is not easy.  Since I've been awake, I started to go over my review for last year and think about what I'll be writing for this year's review.  I am amazed with how much I've picked up in a year.  I am a totally different person with the knowledge I've learned.  The problem is I feel like I'm only 1/10th of the way there.  I have been taking courses and trainings as they come up to try to grow my knowledge, but I need to learn more…and faster.  Maybe I'm just impatient.  See previous hate post about that.

Every few years, the technology side of me wants to escape and beat up the analysis side of me.  I wish I could find a happy marriage with both personalities of my career path. I started to work toward an associates degree at LCCC in Computer Information Systems.  I think having that under my belt will help me no matter where I go.  Unfortunately, I don't think that the computer nerd in me will never die,  Beyond that, when I do finish that degree, I need to start looking toward a BS or BA degree in something.  That will be the challenge.  I really want to take meteorology which is totally unrelated to everything mentioned above, but its been my dream since I've been a little girl.  There is also the telecommunications factor.  I could go that route.  Or, I could go for Supply Chain related stuffs.  I guess I should make a decision.  I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. 

I kind of got off on a tangent there.  Sorry.

Another major accomplishment for me this year was that I got my MS Office 2007 Specialist Master certification.  I had to take 5 seperate Microsoft exams to achieve this level.  I still have another upcoming exam for MS Access in December.  I love that I was able to put aside my hate for Microsoft and be the bigger person to take these exams.  The bigger person?  Haha, I crack myself up.  Who knows, maybe someday I'll trade my iPhone of a Microsoft phone, my iPod for a Zune and my Macbook for an HP w/ Windows 7.  I'll replace my framed picture of Jobs with Gates.  And if you believe that one, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you….CHEAP.

I really think its key to become a lifelong learner.  The second you stop expanding your knowledge on any topic is the second you become expendable.  Today's job market is so competitive that you will be left in the dust if you think you can get by on the bare minimum of job training or a HS diploma alone.  My only regret is that I wish I started doing some of this stuff YEARS ago.  Maybe I'd have more of a leg up on everyone else, but who can predict the future?!  I thought I'd always be at Big Red, and that obviously didn't work out.

I love that. 

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30 days of truth

By M Davies   /     Nov 02, 2010  /     30 days of truth  /     1 Comment

I stole this idea from Stephanie, who stole it from someone, who stole it from someone else and so on….

Along the lines of this being National Novel Writing Month (NanoWrimo for short), it is a blog post every day for the entire month of November.  Each post will have a theme, or "a truth" about me.  I figured this may get me ramped up to start doing regular posts again, provided I can keep up with everything.  Right now my life is extremely busy and complicated and finding any time to myself is a challenge.

The title of today's truth is:  Day 1 ::   Something you hate about yourself

There are a lot of things I hate about myself, both physically and mentally. 

Physically:  I have ugly feet, my teeth are crooked, my hair is frizzy, I'm too fat, I have a double chin, my skin is unpredictible, I sweat too much, I'm self conscience about EVERYTHING.  And that's just the short list.  If I sat here and really thought about it, I could come up with a hundred word essay, double spaced and alphabetized.  They say true beauty is on the inside and physical features are temporary and looks can fade away, but let's face it folks, what woman is NOT worried about the way she looks.  Deep down every woman has at least one thing that makes them very paranoid about their physical features.  I hate the way that I obsess about these skin-deep things, when there are people out there that have much worse problems than me. 

Mentally:  I hate that I have expectations that no reasonable human could ever live up to.  I hate that I have extreme OCD tendencies.  I worry that everyone hates me and makes fun of me behind my back.  Was that really a compliment, or was it a back handed one?  I fear that I'm a terrible mother, and my kids will resent me when they are old.  I hate the way my brain works in this never ending cycle of depressing thoughts and that I can't ever trully be happy or at ease. 

I've been trying to do things that help me get my mind off of all of this crap over the past year.  I've donated a lot of time and resources to charities and I find that it relaxes me.  There are people out there that always have it worse than yourself, and seeing it first hand really puts a lot of things into perspective.  Gee, maybe what I stress out about isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things when say….you don't have a house to live in or food to eat.  The truth is that I was so narrow-sighted that I never really thought about much else other than myself and my problems until I entered into the Leadership Wilkes-Barre program at the end of 2009.  I graduated from this program in June of 2010 and now I feel totally re-energized to get back into the community that I live in and lend a helping hand where needed.  

Kind of unrelated but,  I really hate being labeled.  Yes.  It is true that my parents raised me and my brother, for the most part, in the Poconos.  Yes.  The Poconos.  Home of the champagne glass tower bathtubs.  It does NOT mean we were rich.  Most months my parents just barely scraped by.  I don't know why that bothers me so much, but it does.  It probably has something to do with my husband calling me a "Poconos Princess" during a fight once and I was ready to break out my right upper-cut.

For that, I must also mention that I hate my temper.  I think I inherrited that from my Dad.

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