Seroquil Soliloquoy

Professional Nerdy Girl
Follow Me

Seroquil Soliloquoy

By M Davies   /     Jul 03, 2018  /     Into the Void, Misc/Crap  /  

10 days of being voluntarily committed, a polarizing blog post by Michelle Davies, written on 6/29/18.

 

WHAT I LEARNED…

 

After 10 days of nonstop advocating for myself as well as my life and affairs — I learned to start paying it forward.

I mean, I really always did that, but it was radiated and magnified because of my elevated mood. And before you start getting thoughts in your head – no drugs were involved. Just caffeine and cigarettes, which now seem to be my only 2 remaining vices. Also, a GNC woman’s multi-vitamin (if that counts).

Sometimes all it takes is a little love, some guts, dreaming and creativity to put the important things back into focus.

Here are my takeaways:

  • I’m happy for the first time in EVER and I’m actually learning to smile and joke and love myself again. I remember who I am, who I always was. I missed me.
  • I woke up with the sun.
  • I stayed up late (NOT IN THE SAME DAY, PIPE THE FUCK DOWN)
  • I didn’t ask for permission.
  • I was polite.
  • I had manners (albeit a filthy mouth and mind).
  • I realized I raised terrific, well-adjusted children to which I am proud of. Each in their own unique way.
  • I cleaned, cooked, bathed, watched tv, shopped and cared for 2 children and a needy cat alone.
  • I protected them and love them alone.
  • I learned (which I always knew) that it’s sometimes helpful to rely on the help of others.
  • Talk therapy does help, even if its with your best friend or your favorite notebook and writing utensil.

All any of these took was nearly dying to realize I was never really living. I’m only 37. This is time for a new beginning. I am no longer afraid. I found my joy.

I thank my angels for watching over me: Christy Elston, George Gumpert, Jeff Lamana, Both of my Grandparents, My Aunt Sue, Frank Murgalis, Felicia Thomas, Jennifer Barzilowski and lastly, Justin Hossage.

I close this chapter on the last 14 years of my life, and look forward to the next 14 and beyond. It’s a great day to be ALIVE.

Also, this is NOT a suicide note, so just pipe the fuck down. I still carry George’s PV ID card around in my wallet as a constant reminder of what suicide does to families. Here’s the proof:

Peace.

About M Davies

Hi! My name is Michelle and I'm the sassy author of this blog. I also am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, contributor at NEPA Blogs, 1/3 of NEPA BlogCon and work behind-the-scenes in local TV.

3 Comments

  1. Karla Porter Says: July 3, 2018 8:48 am

    It sounds like you have woken up on the right side of the bed and I am so happy for you Michelle!

  2. Emperor Neil Bytes Says: July 3, 2018 11:14 pm

    The Emperor of the Bytes Estate approves….

  3. Steve Albert Says: July 4, 2018 7:50 am

    A great list. I’m a big advocate for talk therapy; in fact, I think it almost always works, provided that you go into it with the idea that you want it to work. I know, that’s somewhat circular, but it is also inherently logical: Therapy works only if you are willing to put in the hard work required for it to be successful. It also can force you to face some uncomfortable truths, which some folks just can’t seem to handle; this is ‘Merica after all, where many would just rather take a pill and achieve “instant results”.

    The above, by the way, isn’t based on some academic research or conventional wisdom butt$hat, but rather my own experiences with therapy. To give one example: When I went through my own divorce having a great therapist really and truly helped me get to navigate what was the most difficult time in my life. For me, it was a “game changer”.

    – Steve

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*