Monthly Archives July 2018

Professional Nerdy Girl
Follow Me

Pennsylvania City/Town Names That Sound Like Other Pennsylvania City/Town Names

By M Davies   /     Jul 04, 2018  /     Misc/Crap, NEPA, Pittsburgh, The WTF File, TV Rants, Uncategorized  /     0 Comment

I started thinking about this about a year and a half ago after I seriously contemplated relocating to Pittsburgh for better opportunities. This is what working in TV news for 5 years does to your mind – IT FUCKS WITH YOUR BRAIN CELLS (those that are left over from the lack of sleep and/or alcoholism switched up with a caffeine addiction). I started writing out this list from what was on the top of my head, and here’s what I came up with:

  • Wallenpaupack and Wapwallopen
  • Pittsburgh, Pittston, Pottstown, Pottsville
  • Catawissa and Catasaqua
  • Lewisberry and Lewisburg
  • Hughesville and Hughestown
  • Shamokin and Shamokin Dam
  • New Philadelphia and Philadelphia
  • Newtown and West Newton
  • Lansford and Lansdale
  • Blakeslee and Blakely
  • Tamaqua and Mocanaqua

I posted this half crocked thought to Facebook one evening and much to my surprise, people started contributing their own suggestions. Needless to say, I ended up with quite the list. Some of these may be repeats too…I’m way too lazy to edit them out at this point because this was a pain in the ass to copy and paste in from Facebook. Here’s the other contributions and conversation that transpired on my wall (names not withheld):

  • Steve Albert Methtown and Methville
  • Michelle Ann So in other words Plymouth and Plymouth Meeting?
  • Steve Albert Although based on what I’ve seen in the news, Shamokin has passed Plymitt as the place you’re most likely to get Contact Hepatitis.
  • Summer Beretsky Bukeavich Lewisburg and Lewistown, Mifflinburg and Mifflintown, Hanover and Hanover Twp
  • Alex Milanes Hazel twp Hazleton
  • Steve Albert There is a York and a York Springs
  • Roger DuPuis II Too many Paradise Townships
  • Michelle Ann Too many Tunkahnnock Townships.
  • Bob Meier Hokendauqua or Mocanaqua
  • Brian Ptashinski Tamaqua and Michelle Ann Catasaqua
  • Rachel Farrow Catasauqua, as someone who had the misfortune of renting a house there and enjoyed ordering delivery foo
  • Roger DuPuis II Hanover and Hanover Township
  • Bob Meier Huntington Mills or Huntington Twp
  • Bob Meier Blakley Blakslee
  • Pat Ward Wilkes-Barre-Wiles-Barre twp..A whole bunch of them..
  • Roger DuPuis II But there’s only one Intercourse, baby. *drops mic*
  • Summer Beretsky Bukeavich Aren’t all babies intercourse babies? 👶🏼
  • Michelle Ann Kingsley / Kingston
  • Paulie John Plymouth, Plymouth meeting , Plymouth township ,
  • Bruce Parry Stroudsburg and Strasburg
  • Paulie John Jackson twp a bunch of those as well
  • Paulie John West Pittston, pittston , pittston township
  • Colin Joyce Scranton and scotrun?
  • Michelle Ann My grandmother once called it Scrotum.
  • Bill Michlowski Every time I pass that exit on I-80, I see “Scrotum.” Every. Damn. Time.
  • Bob Meier Hughstown or Hughsville
  • Roger DuPuis II Pottstown and Pottsville
  • Harold Jenkins Nanticoke and Nanty Glo. I mean, seriously?
  • Steve Albert Wilkes-Barry, Wilkes-Bar
  • Michelle Ann #TeamBerry
  • Steve Albert I’ve been known to be snarky and refer to it as “Wilkes-Boro”
  • Michelle Ann Mountain Top and Mountainhome`
  • Bill Michlowski Mifflinville and Mifflinburg
  • Steve Albert Landisville and Landisburg (where I lived once)
  • Melissa Chrusch Benton and East Benton being no where near each other confuses me
  • Jennifer Sliwinski Just like tunkhannock & tunkhannock twp. Not near each other
  • Bill Michlowski Milford and New Milford
  • Melissa Chrusch I was about to say those. They drive me nuts I get confused which is which lol
  • Leo Russo Coaldale is just Carbondale dumbed down.
  • Steve Albert Shickshinny and Shitshinny  (sorry, I just made that one up)
  • Michelle Ann I always call it Hickshinny
  • Steve Albert I’d think of another Shamokin snarky comment, but I’m all out.
  • Michelle Ann Time to go meet your lawyer at the Dunkin.
  • Steve Albert What a town…you can get a coffee, donut, legal advice and crystal meth all at the same place #ShamokinStyle
  • Michelle Ann (Delaware) Water Gap and Wind Gap
  • Brian Ptashinski Slatedale and Slatington
  • Dale Wilsey Jr. Mechanicsburg Mechanicsville
  • Erich Granahan Mount Pocono, Pocono Summit, Pocono Pines
  • Erich Granahan I’ve been to Monroe County last two nights so that was easy lol
  • Thomas Hovey Mifflinville and Mifflintown
  • Michelle Ann Wyoming and Wyomissing.
  • Bill Michlowski And Wyalusing
  • John Longfield Blakely & Blakeslee
  • Bill Michlowski Forksville and Forkston
  • John Longfield Oakland & Oakland
  • John Longfield Susquehanna (Depot) & Susquehanna (Valley)
  • Thomas Hovey Landsdale and Landingville
  • Noreen Clark Mountain Top & Mount Top
  • Thomas Hovey Pleasant Mount and Pleasant Valley
  • Bill Michlowski
  • Bill Michlowski Wilburton Number One and Wilburton Number Two
  • Michelle Ann Paxonia and Paxtang
  • Bill Michlowski And Paxinos lol
  • Christopher J. Beers Shamokin and Sha MOKIN!
  • Brian Ptashinski Shanksville and Schnecksville
  • Michelle Ann Kunkle and Kunkletown
  • Brian Ptashinski Cresson and Cressona
  • Harold Jenkins Blue Bell and Blue Ball. (From Blue Ball it’s just a short ride to Intercourse.)
  • Harold Jenkins Dammit, I should have said “short drive.”
  • Michelle Ann You just had to slip in there.
  • Brian Ptashinski Believe it or not Glen Campbell (Indiana County)and Glen Hope(Clearfield County
  • Jennifer Sliwinski Glenn Lyon
  • Bill Michlowski Ashley and Ashland
  • Bill Michlowski Sugarloaf and Sugar Notch
  • Michelle Ann That’s a good one!
  • Michelle Ann Orangeville and Orwigsburg always messes with me.
  • Michelle Ann Millville and Mill Hall
  • Brian Ptashinski Wyoming and Wyomissing
  • Karen Kozacheck Nescopeck and Nesquehoning…Berwick and Berwyn
  • Stephen Lloyd Susquehanna County and Susquehanna University not near each other
  • Mike Frank Burnside Milford and New Milford PA
  • Sara Barthol Add Lansdowne with Lansdale… that shit gets f’d up even by train conductors down here.
  • Sara Barthol Oh and there’s Newtown Square
  • Lori Kerzmann-Motto yes, Newtown and Newtown Square! I got those mixed up all the time when I first moved down here, and they’re not even near each other!
  • Sara Barthol Me too. I think they’re further apart than Lansdowne and Lansdale!
  • Sara Barthol My favorite, since I live here is Springfield and Springfield. Both in the Philly region but one’s in Delaware County and the other is in Montgomery County.
  • Michelle Ann I’m so glad I am not the only one who gets confused by this nonsense!
  • Sara Barthol Anytime I participate in a “where’s everyone from” post… I always say “Springfield (DelCo)” and I’m pretty sure most people are like wtf is DelCo? And… amusingly enough, I found out that my brother and I both live in Delaware County… just two different states.
  • Jen Nicolosi I think Bethlehem and Bensalem can be confused too
  • Michelle Ann I think this is a new one! No one hasn’t mentioned it yet.
  • Lacey Tyre Timony People confuse Tamaqua with Towanda and Turkhannock also
  • Lacey Tyre Timony I confuse Orefield and Orwigsburg. Also Lewisburg and Lewistown
  • Thomas Hovey Plymouth and Plymouth Meeting
  • John Davies scrotum/scotrun
  • Sally Black There’s also the ever popular Sciota which all out of state people pronouce as Scrotum and then we have to remind them, no that’s outside of Blue Balls
  • Sally Black OH…and don’t get me started on Hop Bottom – who names a town Hop Bottom…there’s GOT to be a great story there
  • Michelle Ann I think we can all agree no one will ever confuse anything with Conshohocken, because at least half of the state can’t even pronounce it.
  • Jessy Schaffer Can’t ever confuse Jim Thorpe with anything. That is such a neat little town.
  • Bruce Abbott Scranton and Scotrun
  • Bruce Abbott Upper Askam and Lower Askam. Haha
  • Michelle Ann Askam? I hardly know him!
  • Bruce Abbott King of Prussia and…and…really, where the hell did they get that name?
  • Bob Meier Prussia was the German empire prior to the nazi takeover.  The southeast part of PA had a large influx of German immigrants from the 1700s to the mid 1800s. They named the town after King Fredrick of Prussia.
  • Bruce Abbott Funny that it stuck and didn’t become something else over the years.
  • Jennifer D. Wade Kingston and Kingston
  • Nicole Karr Berwick and Berwyn
  • Thomas Hovey Bryan Mawr and Mar Lin
  • Marisa Grier Stroudsburg and east Stroudsburg
  • Marisa Grier Catasaqua & Catawissa
  • Dan Turansky Tamaqua Towanda
  • Dan Turansky Slateford Staledale Slatington
  • Jennifer D. Wade Mocanaqua and Tamaqua
  • Jeffrey Johnson Mauch Chunk and Equinunk
  • Daniel Carey Nothin’ sounds like Wilkes-Barre. Or is it Wilkes-Bar, Wilkes-Barry, or Wilkes-Barra?
  • Michelle Ann I hate Wilkes-Bahr. That is like nails on a chahlk boahrd.
  • Bob Meier Not exactly the same, but some people would find it confusing that warrior run school district has nothing to do with and is no where near warrior run pa
  • Michelle Ann I was thinking about that earlier.
  • Brian Ptashinski Meshoppen and Conshohocken
  • Bob Meier Browntown (between Wysox & Wyalusing ) & Browntown ( the south end of the pittston bypass )

 

Keep it weird AND confusing, Pennsylvania. That’ll confuse ’em!

Continue Reading Quick Read

Seroquil Soliloquoy

By M Davies   /     Jul 03, 2018  /     Into the Void, Misc/Crap  /     3 Comments

10 days of being voluntarily committed, a polarizing blog post by Michelle Davies, written on 6/29/18.

 

WHAT I LEARNED…

 

After 10 days of nonstop advocating for myself as well as my life and affairs — I learned to start paying it forward.

I mean, I really always did that, but it was radiated and magnified because of my elevated mood. And before you start getting thoughts in your head – no drugs were involved. Just caffeine and cigarettes, which now seem to be my only 2 remaining vices. Also, a GNC woman’s multi-vitamin (if that counts).

Sometimes all it takes is a little love, some guts, dreaming and creativity to put the important things back into focus.

Here are my takeaways:

  • I’m happy for the first time in EVER and I’m actually learning to smile and joke and love myself again. I remember who I am, who I always was. I missed me.
  • I woke up with the sun.
  • I stayed up late (NOT IN THE SAME DAY, PIPE THE FUCK DOWN)
  • I didn’t ask for permission.
  • I was polite.
  • I had manners (albeit a filthy mouth and mind).
  • I realized I raised terrific, well-adjusted children to which I am proud of. Each in their own unique way.
  • I cleaned, cooked, bathed, watched tv, shopped and cared for 2 children and a needy cat alone.
  • I protected them and love them alone.
  • I learned (which I always knew) that it’s sometimes helpful to rely on the help of others.
  • Talk therapy does help, even if its with your best friend or your favorite notebook and writing utensil.

All any of these took was nearly dying to realize I was never really living. I’m only 37. This is time for a new beginning. I am no longer afraid. I found my joy.

I thank my angels for watching over me: Christy Elston, George Gumpert, Jeff Lamana, Both of my Grandparents, My Aunt Sue, Frank Murgalis, Felicia Thomas, Jennifer Barzilowski and lastly, Justin Hossage.

I close this chapter on the last 14 years of my life, and look forward to the next 14 and beyond. It’s a great day to be ALIVE.

Also, this is NOT a suicide note, so just pipe the fuck down. I still carry George’s PV ID card around in my wallet as a constant reminder of what suicide does to families. Here’s the proof:

Peace.

Continue Reading Quick Read

Mr. Belvedere

By M Davies   /     Jul 02, 2018  /     Pittsburgh, TV Rants  /     0 Comment

One of my newest obsessions (or at least for now) is DVRing and watching Mr. Belvedere. I feel like I’m reliving a part of my childhood all over again. I remember watching it with my Mom way back when the show aired on ABC from 1985-1990. AntennaTV picked up the repeats with a programming change in 2015. Believe it or not, you can also view the show on Amazon Prime and find the full series on Youtube!

I never realized at the time at the age of 5 or 6, but the series supposedly took place in Pittsburgh! There are several references to Pennsylvania in the series and it cracks me up.

 

In episode six of season one, George and Marsha on a team banquet/business trip while Mr. Belvedere baby-sits the kids. The kids act like brats while George & Marsha have a crappy time on this trip. They were trapped in a hotel due to the fact a major hurricane is hitting Florida. That’s when it happens….George remembers a good time he had at a dumpy hotel in HARRISBURG. After rewatching this episode, I nearly did a spit take. For those of you who never watch the show, George (the Dad) was a sports reporter. He started out at a newspaper in Pittsburgh and then ended up at a TV station. Of course the paper and TV station mentioned on the show are fictional. In my mind, they are the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and KDKA, but I digress. Anyway, Marsha realizes the story he’s telling her (which included a woman) wasn’t about her. Aka, he was remembering it incorrectly and was with another woman. Marsha was none too pleased, but I was. Harrisburg IS dumpy. Or it was, at least was the last time I went there for work in 2011. The person who was my guide for the work trip treated me to lunch. She told me that she always carried cigarettes with her even though she never smoked. When I asked why, she told me it was because she gave them to the city’s homeless people…so they’d watch out for her…so she wouldn’t get robbed or shived.

 

Yikes. Again, I digress.

 

Meanwhile, back at the Owen’s ranch, Heather is trying to sneak out because it’s the only time Prince would be in Pittsburgh. Wesley called a “massage specialist” to help Mr. Belvedere’s stress headache and Kevin called all of the girls in his little (*ahem* BIG) black book and I need an advil to comprehend all of what just happened, but really, at any given day or time during the week, I swear this type of shit goes on in my own life. RAISING KIDS IS OVERWHELMING.

 

A few episodes later, in season 2, episode 3; Heather is pouting because she can’t go on a skiing trip to the Poconos.A few episodes after that she name drops Hershey Park. Then she sulked when she couldn’t go on a European trip when her father’s company was on strike (hence why I figured it was Post Gazette/KDKA (both union shops). I want to slap that rich bitch in the face and tell her that the Poconos are overrated and Hershey Park is overpriced. Go to Ricketts Glen hiking and Knoebels for amusement. You’ll have a better time, you little shit.

 

To be fair, Wesley isn’t much better. He’s essentially a six year old con-artist. He only gets away with his shit (save for Mr. Belvedere) because his parents are too busy ripping their hair out with Kevin “the player” and Heather “the rich bitch.” He can take advantage AND HE WILL. BECAUSE HE’S THE BABY AND CAN. Based on my evaluation, Kevin may be the only kid that has a chance at having a normal adulthood of the 3. While I know the actor who plays Mr. Belvedere has passed away, I’d love to see a reunion special. Maybe it ends up being that the kids are in an Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode for some next level twisted cross over shit.

 

I’m going to keep an eye and ear on upcoming episodes to see if there are any further references to Northeast PA (meaning Wilkes-Barre/Scranton area, NOT ERIE).

 

That awkward moment when you’ve written a 3 page essay on a cheesy 80’s sitcom. What is my life?

 

SIGH. I’ll try harder to let you down next time, folks.

Continue Reading Quick Read