Teachers are sadists

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Teachers are sadists

By M Davies   /     Sep 30, 2012  /     Annoyances, Mommyhood  /  

Gabby’s art teacher sent home a project about a month ago for a pumpkin decorating contest.  Of course, there is a twist on the decorating theme.  It’s too cumbersome to decorate an actual pumpkin and bring it into school, apparently.  So….the pumpkins in this contest are actually “rocks”.  And if you were wondering…this is a mandatory contest that counts toward a grade.  If you ask me, the paper should have been titled “Pumpkin Stone Mandatory Project for Grade” and not contest.

 

From the paper:  “Instead of pumpkins, students will find, paint, and decorate rocks to look like Jack-O-lanters.  The rocks should not be larger than a softball because they will be displayed in the showcases for the month of October.”  The school will vote on the categories:  Scariest, Funniest, Most Creative, Prettiest and Best dressed.”

 

You’ve got to be kidding me.  Not only have I been assigned a “mandatory” art project….ahem….contest, but now I have to find a smaller than softball sized rock and decorate it.  Aaaaand I have the comfort of knowing that my work will be judged by the rest of the elementary school.  Fantastic, because I have so much time on my hands these days.  After talking with Gabby, she told me she wanted her pumpkin rock to be dressed in a peacock halloween costume.  Easy enough right?  Wrong.

 

First of all, I had to find the rock.  We have no rocks in our yard that fit the criteria of the pumpkin rock paper.  I actually had to take a rock from my brother & sister in-law’s yard.  Then I had to get online and research what a peacock looked like.  I had a general idea, but I wanted to make sure I bought the right kind of craft supplies.  Oh and by the way, crafty I am not.  This thing is sure to come out looking like a 2 year old made it.  After a trip to Michael’s I had all the supplies I needed to get started.

 

The supplies sat around for weeks, because I have been busy with BlogCon, Blog Fest, School and Work.  I haven’t had a minute to myself in about 30 days.  I fantasize about beds.  I salivate over sleep.  The last thing I want to do when I get a few minutes to myself is to paint a rock.  Anyway, I decided to take the rock to work with me on a Sunday morning and painted it there.  It took 3 coats of acrylic blue paint to get it all covered over.

 

      

 

Now for the hard part (a.k.a. the part I waited until this evening to do), attaching the “accessories”.  Obviously the stupid thing had to have eyes, feathers and a beak.  Just go ahead try and imagine how much fun it is trying to get elmers glue to adhere to a rock.  Right now I have the glue drying, it takes about 35 minutes until it bonds well.  I hope that it holds at least until she brings it to school.  I have my doubts.  Does it look like a peacock at this point?  I don’t know.  I don’t care.  I’m too tired.

 

     

 

My daughter didn’t help me with much of this project.  How many of these take home projects do teachers expect the kids to actually do 100% themselves?  My daughter has the attention span of a fly and is not capable of glueing arts and crafts supplies to a rock.  I’m lucky if I’ll even be able to pull it off.  I mean really, lets face it.  These projects are more of homework for the parents than for the kids…which is what makes them sadists.  I’m tired, annoyed and have about 6 pounds of glitter under my finger nails.  She better get an A on this damn thing.

About M Davies

Hi! My name is Michelle and I'm the sassy author of this blog. I also am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, contributor at NEPA Blogs, 1/3 of NEPA BlogCon and work behind-the-scenes in local TV.

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