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By M Davies   /     Nov 26, 2011  /     Quotes, The WTF File  /  

My husband is the self proclaimed "Network God" of a CLEC (competitive local exchange carrier) telephone company headquartered in Maryland.  He messes with routers, switches and various routing protocols all day long (and night too if he happens to be on call).  As much as I respect his knowledge for the business and the realm of the computing world, there is one thing that I can't respect.  And that is his incessant need to stalk what I Google for.

In this house, the utilities are in my name, which includes the phone, cable, Internet, and electricity.  His company foots the bill for the Internet, since he works from home, but this shouldn't be considered a free pass to question everything I search the internet for.  I realize that most people reading this are probably like….what the hell do you mean?  Well here's an example:

I woke up at 4am at some point last week due to this most recent bout of insomnia I've been facing.  My internal clock is all kinds of fucked up from being on second shift and then suddenly switching back to first shift again.  I think that I have work shift related jet lag.  Also, you should know that I sleep with the TV on.  The background noise helps lull me to sleep.  Sleeping in silence drives me nuts because I can't turn off my brain, I just keep thinking about things all night and end up being restless and unable to fall asleep.  So there's your premise.  Anyway, I woke up at 4am, as I previously said, and some Motown special was on PBS.  I absolutely LOVE Motown music.  The special closed with Stevie Wonder singing "Sunshine of my Life", which I decided to Google to check the lyrics because I also have a sick obsession with lyrics to songs.  Anyway….  I came home later that evening to a barrage of questions. 

"WHO IS THE SUNSHINE OF YOUR LIFE?" 

"Huh?"

"You googled for "Sunshine of my Life", why?"

"Um….because it was on the PBS Motown Special last night, and I couldn't sleep.  I wanted to know what the lyrics were."

"Oh."

This isn't the first ocassion that this type of thing has happened either.  This is just the most recent example I can think of in an ongoing pattern.  Spying is such an unattractive hobby.  I got to talking to Harold about this, and we started going back and forth about things I should Google just to freak him out over AIM. 

 

mhryvnak:  Did I ever tell you…

mhryvnak:  He watches everything I google for

mhryvnak:  And then questions me after the fact…

DataBoy Echo:  Hah, no.

mhryvnak:  "Why did you search for this…."

mhryvnak:  "Why did you search for that…"

DataBoy Echo:  where can i purchase thallium

mhryvnak:  Hahahahahahahaha

mhryvnak:  Omg

Databoy Echo:  how to dispose of a body

mhryvnak:  I like where this is going

Databoy Echo:  won't the brake fluid leak when I cut the break lines?

Databoy Echo:  taking out insurance policy without husband knowing

mhryvnak:  "What does it mean when your husband doesn't know the definition to marjoram?"

mhryvnak:  Hahaha.  Omg.

mhryvnak:  Quotes that your husband messes up

Databoy Echo:  definition of spachela

mhryvnak:  recluse husband

mhryvnak:  I used the word recluse in a sentence the other day and he didn't know what I was talking about.

Databoy Echo:  husband likes hot dogs what does this mean?

 

Don't take this post too seriously.  I'm just rebelling against big brother constantly looking over my shoulder.  I have no plans to purchase thallium or cut brake lines.  At least at this point, anyway.

About M Davies

Hi! My name is Michelle and I’m the sassy author of this blog. I also am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, contributor at NEPA Blogs, 1/3 of NEPA BlogCon and work behind-the-scenes in local TV.

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