Daily Archives February 8, 2008

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And now, a word on tax rebates

By M Davies   /     Feb 08, 2008  /     Quotes  /     0 Comment

Someone posted this on fark.com on a Tax Rebate thread and I just about spit my drink out of my mouth.  Too funny.  So now, I must share it with you (note:  I did not write this, but *golf clap* to the genius that did)  FAQs about the upcoming tax rebates….

Cliff notes version for the ADD crowd:

Q: How much will I get?
A: $600 for singles or couples filing separately in 2007. Tack on $300/ea for crotchfruit. No, they’re STILL not worth it. If you and your whore wife file together you’ll get $1200, but good luck spending that money without a divorce-inducing argument.

Q: What if I make over $75k?
A: You can still get a rebate. Take the amount you make over 75k and multiply it by .05.. Subtract this from $600. If the result is negative you don’t get a check. Basically if you make between 75k and 87k you can get a partial rebate. Everyone else can go cry in their hummers.

Q: But, I’m married and make over 150k
A: Cry to Trevor about it on the 16th green, douchenozzle

Q: But, don’t I have to pay it back on my 2008 taxes?
A: No, the rebate is technically an advance on a credit you will receive on your 08 taxes. George loves you, you’re welcome.

Q: Doesn’t this mean my children or children’s children are paying for this rebate?
A: No. The U.S. government will collapse long before then. Quit whining and spend your money.

Q: Can I spend my money on hookers and blow?
A: Not legally. Welcome to the land of the free. Have some nice cigarettes and prozac instead.

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______ (i lost my voice)

By M Davies   /     Feb 08, 2008  /     Misc/Crap  /     2 Comments

Well, my issues from yesterday have mutated into a full blown head cold.  My voice is gone…I sound like a rhaspy old man when I talk to anyone.  My throat is RAW.  It burns and the only thing we have in the house to drink is soda (yuck), apple juice (for the kids), milk(yuck) and water.  Rich went out to get me some OJ and stop to get my cousin’s birthday gift.  Thank god for him doing that…I feel like crap and I took a nap this afternoon at the same time that kids were napping.  I have my Cousin’s birthday party to go to on Sunday, a doctor’s appointment for Owen on Monday and then an interview on Tuesday.  I really do not have time to be sick right now. 

We got some of the results back from our house inspector regarding the new house, and there are some minor things that the seller is going to fix for us (water issues w/ 2 sinks) and some minor electrical stuff.  The radon test came back at 10.6.  Holy crap!  The threshold for radon is 4.  That’s double of what it should be.  So anyway now the seller has to install a radon mitigator.  I was not even going to bother getting the radon test done at first, but at the last minute decided to do it.  Thank god I did!  We’d probably all glow in the dark within a few weeks of moving in.  Our water tests came back a-ok.  There’s no bacteria in the water, so that’s a relief.  No dysentery for us! 

I just wanted to take a minute to remind the insomniacs that visit my blog that my site will be down tonight due to a server move at my webhosting company.  The move starts at 10pm pacific time.  What is that in Eastern Time?  2am?  3am?  I hope it won’t take long, but you know how my luck has been with them over the last two months.  Be sure to keep your fingers and toes crossed for me.  If I’m down for any significant amount of time check out http://mhryvnak.blogspot.com for updates.

Ok, that’s all I have for the moment.  I have to go on dirty diaper patrol now.  Lucky me.

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