Daily Archives October 25, 2007

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The squirrel from hell

By M Davies   /     Oct 25, 2007  /     The Myspace Blog File, The Squirrel Bastard  /     0 Comment

A few weeks ago I ripped out all of my summer flowers that were dying off and replaced them with fall flowers — mainly mums.  As I was digging out the roots and planting the new flowers I came across some weird stuff burried in my potted flowers. 

  • 1 rotten plum
  • 1 peach pit
  • Half a dozen or so cigarette butts (Why would a squirrel think these are food???)
  • A corner of a stale, green partially eaten bagel (EW!)

I really didn’t think anything of it at the time until a few days later there was a huge pile of dirt on my porch.  Then I seen it….a frigging squirrel.  That little bastard has been digging in my potted plants and burrying shit for winter.  Grrrr.  I am like Mr. Fucking Wilson from Dennis the Mennis (Think:  GET OFF MY LAWN YA DAMN KIDS!) when it comes to my landscaping/flowers/garden.  I want it to look perfect and this animal is a thorn in my side.  I pretty much found all of his burried treasures and disposed of them and I thought I had the problem licked.  Wrong.  There was a huge pile of dirt on my porch this morning and I didn’t have the time or patience to sweep it up. 

Does anyone have any HUMANE suggestions how to keep this squirrel from destroying my landscaping?  I was thinking poison fruit, but I don’t want PETA after me.  (Btw – my cousin has a bumper sticker that says PETA “people eating tasty animals”.  that still cracks me up when I think about it) 

Its supposed to rain again tomorrow into Saturday.  The local weathermen say it won’t flood, however…they have not seen the condition of the storm drains in South Wilkes-Barre so I beg to differ. 

Its Thursday, one more day until Friday!  Clean your damn storm drains and give me some decent tips to erradicate this pest with a bushy tail.

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