Daily Archives September 23, 2006

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Soliciting advice (again)

By M Davies   /     Sep 23, 2006  /     Mommyhood, The Pre-Dooce File  /     1 Comment

This one goes out to all parents of toddlers everywhere (well at least whoever reads my blog anyway)…. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU START POTTY TRAINING?  The reason why I am asking is because my daughter is driving me crazy.  Rewind the clock to roughly a week ago.  My car was in the shop getting fixed so therefore we were all stranded at home on a rainy day.  Gabby usually is up by 7:30 to go to daycare.  Since I knew none of us were going anywhere I decided that I could sleep in for an hour or 2 at the most.  Around 8:30 I woke up and went up for a shower.  By the time I got dressed and went into her room it was about 9am.  So to recap only an hour and a half later than what I normally wake her up.  When I opened the door to her room I nearly vomited.  She was covered from head to toe in poop.  I'm really not exaggerating either.  Imagine if you will poop all over her hands, arms, legs, feet, under her finger nails, hair, around her mouth (WTF???? I hope to god she did not eat shit)….I nearly died.  I actually walked out of the room and went into Owen's room.  I had to take a moment.  I hoped that I really didn't see what I just saw, but when I went back in her room, reality was staring me in the face.  I picked her up and plopped her right in the tub, clothes and diaper still on.  I did not care at that point.  I scrubbed her down until all of it was off her.  The water was BROWN.  I emptied the tub and refilled it and made her sit in it for about a half hour.  Quite honestly I don't even think that was long enough, but since bleaching her skin was out of the question…it would have to do.  My next move was to strip her bed down, I used a combination of Oust, Lysol, 409 and the vacuum to get everything cleaned up and smelling semi normal (although you could still faintly smell the poop).  I put clean sheets on and everything was back to normal within a few hours.  Now she has taken off her diaper before and peed on her sheets and it wasn't any big deal.  Pee is MUCH easier to clean up then poop.  As a matter of fact, she did that yesterday (take off her diaper and pee over everything).  Now again today we had the poop incident.  It wasn't as bad as last week, but it was still EXTREMELY DISGUSTING AND NAUSEATING.  A little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me it is time to start potty training her.  She seems to be giving off all of the right signals that she is ready, but I really don't know if I have any patience left in my body for this.  I haven't had a decent night of sleep since way before I was pregnant, and Gabby just does not listen to me.  This does not make for a good combination. So you can imagine my desperation.  Please somebody…anybody….tell me how you got your kiddos potty trained.  I need to know what works.  Bribery?  Extortion?  I'm willing to try anything to avoid another surprise morning poop incident.

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