Daily Archives May 27, 2006

Professional Nerdy Girl
Follow Me

The science of horizontal bird shit

By M Davies   /     May 27, 2006  /     The Pre-Dooce File, The WTF File  /     0 Comment

When you climb the steps to get to our second floor, there is a small crank window at the top of the steps.  The crank window opens on an outward angle.  The first 3 days this week (Sun-Tues), it was really cold so I had pretty much all of the windows in the house closed (including the crank window).  I woke up on Wednesday morning and there was bird shit on the crank window.

I am not talking the white kind, I'm talking diahrea type bird shit in about 4 different areas on the window.  The window was closed the previous night, so I'm really puzzled as to how the bird shat on it.  The only 2 viable solutions I could have come up with was that the bird was sitting on the roof, and pooped and then when it fell, the wind blew it onto my window. Crystal also had a theory that the bird maybe have been flying toward the house at an upward angle and shat in mid air and the wind blew it onto the window. Either way, I have no idea how I'm going to get this bird shit off of my window.  It is an angled window, so I can't clean it from the inside.  I could splurge for the windex that you can hook up to your hose, but I'm not totally sure that its going to reach because the window is on the 3rd floor. 

Anyone have any creative ideas how to clean my window?  I am all ears.

Continue Reading Quick Read

Z and BO

By M Davies   /     May 27, 2006  /     Family, The Pre-Dooce File  /     0 Comment

My cousin Z that was coming over every weekend several times a day stopped by again this week.  I shouldn't complain because its the first time he's stopped down in several months, but I am just hoping that it will not cause him to start coming down every day of the week again. 

He stopped down on Wednesday, of course right within the first 5 minutes of when American Idol started.  I couldn't hide from him unfortunately because my door was open wide (it was hot).  So, I swallowed my pride and answered the door.  He asked "Is Michelle home?"  Um, what?  Don't you know who I am?  I said "I am Michelle" (in a DUH kind of way).  His Dad and girlfriend were all over each other on the sidewalk.  Z had terrible BO that was absolutely horrifying.  They stayed for 5 minutes (did not come inside thank god….) and left.  Not before asking at least a half dozen nosey questions about my pregnancy and family.  Ugh…..I hope this kid doesn't think he's going to stop down all summer long when I have a new baby.  I will be low on sleep and I will snap.

Continue Reading Quick Read