Monthly Archives July 2005

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Mr. Mail-Deliverer-Guy

By M Davies   /     Jul 30, 2005  /     Misc/Crap, The Pre-Dooce File  /     0 Comment

Bud Light Presents:

Real Men of Genius (real men of genius) Today we salute you, Mr. Mail-Deliverer-Guy. (Mr. Mail-Deliverer-Guy) You've given us the real American dream: Walking from house to house avoiding big scary dogs, delivering important letters all the live long day. (Pinch me, I'm dreamin'!) Sure, you may mess up once in a while and deliver the wrong letter to the wrong house occasionally, but everyone is entitled to mistakes. (The addresses were almost the same!) Through rain, sleet and snow you endure all elements of weather along with huge dogs that hate the sight of your uniform. (I thank God for the fences!) So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, mail man. You know the way to a woman's heart and a few hundred letters that don't belong to me. (Mr. Mail-Deliverer-Guy)

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By M Davies   /     Jul 26, 2005  /     NEPA, The Pre-Dooce File  /     0 Comment

How much longer is East South Street going to be torn up for? Is there an estimated date as to when this will be paved, or should I just wait until my car needs new tires, an alignment, shocks, new rims and brakes? Come on! Its been practically a week already.

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By M Davies   /     Jul 25, 2005  /     Annoyances, The Pre-Dooce File  /     0 Comment

There is nothing that pisses me off more than when someone spells my name "Michele". There are 2 L's in there people. If my name was Michele, I'd sign it that way, but I don't. I sign/spell it Michelle. There is a difference between Michele and Michelle. I am Michelle. Not Michele. If you are going to get something wrong, at least make it my last name and not my first name. I think that's a little more difficult to screw up rather than the amount of e's and l's in Michelle.

Thanks….and have a nice day.

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Wilkes-Barre Smackdown and the Hanover Township Crime Wave

By M Davies   /     Jul 24, 2005  /     I hate my neighbors, NEPA, The Pre-Dooce File  /     0 Comment

Taken from The Times Leader Online: "I'm fed up trying to be politically correct with every statement I make about crime and crime victims. The politically incorrect fact is if you're out at 3 a.m. on South Main Street looking to commit a crime, and something bad happens to you, it's too bad." –Gerry Dessoye Wilkes-Barre police chief

Thank you very much Gerry, you hit the nail right on the head there. This is the quote of the day. Oh yeah and here's another crime that just happened in Hanover Township: Hit & Run What the fuck. Wilkes-Barre, stop pushing all the freaks to Hanover Township. We don't take kindly to weirdos in these here parts. Oh and if that wasn't bad enough (the hit & run, shooting and my flower pot being broken) the neighbors little demon spawn child supposedly was caught trying to steal something from a house he was visiting. This is the same kid that throws (or spits) gum on our porch and side of house. He also like to watch our dogs shit, and giggles by the site of it, and STARES YOU DOWN when you are outside doing ANYTHING. Please lord, let him go to juvi. This would be a blessing in disguise.

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You know you are a Hryvnak if….

By M Davies   /     Jul 22, 2005  /     Misc/Crap, The Pre-Dooce File  /     0 Comment

You know you are having a bad day when…….. Half way through the day you realize your underwear are on inside/out.

You know you are from Wilkes-Barre when…….. Some scumbag in a beater station wagon yells out of the window "HEY BEAUTIFUL".

Mmmmm. I love being hit on from a moving vehicle. It gets me all hot and bothered like.

*yawn* I wonder if caffeine comes in booster shots.

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